My Boyfriend Swears, Calls Me Names, And Insults Me. I Like Him And I Don't Want To Break Up, But How Do I Get Him To Stop?

14 Answers

Pippa Corbett Profile
Pippa Corbett answered
I know you said that you like him and don't want to break up with him - but this might be exactly the right thing to do in this situation.

It will help you get some respect and confidence back, and it will help him realize that he can't go around treating you badly.

Once he's realized the error of his ways, you can then consider taking him back - but not until then!

What should I do if my boyfriend swears at me and insults me?
No-one swears at and insults the person they love: It shows a lack of respect, care and understanding.

As much as you might want your relationship to work out, it may be time to accept that your boyfriend doesn't deserve you.

Try telling him how you feel - make it clear to him that if he continues abusing you, he will lose you!
That way, the ball is in his court.

If he works hard to change his ways, then you can continue having a loving relationship. If he can't behave in an appropriate way, you should kick him out of your life harder than Sebastian Janikowski (of the Oakland Raiders) punting a 63 yard field goal!
Gillian Smith Profile
Gillian Smith answered
You shouldn't be in a relationship where swearing and insults are part of your life, you should be happy and enjoying yourself.

Tell him that this type of behavior isn't helping you set the foundations for a loving, caring relationship.

Otherwise, you need to stop seeing this boy who is obviously immature and can't deal with a relationship.

Maybe he needs to grow up and learn how to treat girls with respect.
Ambreen Misbah Profile
Ambreen Misbah answered
I know how it feels! I am sure you like this guy a lot and you do not want things to mess up between the two of you.

However, you do not like being insulted and sweared at - therefore, you must take a stand and tell him you do not like this attitude of his.

Trust me, it is for the best of you. If you stand up to him, he will start to respect you.
Ian Fortey Profile
Ian Fortey answered
You really need to break up with him. Please don't start your dating life accepting verbal abuse! It will only get worse for you.
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thanked the writer.
Annie McManus
Annie McManus commented
The only thing that i didn't put in is that he's only joking when he does it. So i'm not feeling bad or anything i just want him to stop. The only person i ever talk to is my bestfriend. I talk about him with everybody but only the good things. Write back, and once again he is trying to be funny, and i dont mind it.( mabee its that hes my first boyfriend and that i just dont want to break up?)
S L jamen
S L jamen commented
Have similar situation. He isn't going to change. You will have continued abuse if you stay with him.
Ian Fortey Profile
Ian Fortey answered
Well, sometimes boys do say weird things and think they're funny (even though it's not). I'm glad to hear that he is trying to be funny and not mean.

The only thing that I can advise is to ask him to please stop saying these things to you and tell him that you just don't think it's funny.

If he doesn't stop, tell him you will break up with him.
Zara Mamoon Profile
Zara Mamoon answered
Threaten to leave him.
Natalie Jo Price Profile

All I have to say is...GET OUT! I was in same situation and it graduated to horrible physical abuse (in the hospital type abuse) which then led to the kids and then I was OUT OF THERE.

Pepper pot Profile
Pepper pot answered

Firstly, this is obviously enough of an issue for you to be posting your concern here, do not knock how you feel because of your fear of leaving him.  Swearing and insulting is a negative interaction, tell him how you feel, and that you want his behaviour to stop.  If he continues, reiterate your point and do not shrug it off. If he refuses to listen, then leave him. Having a little harmless banter between each other which you BOTH find funny, is a far cry from constantly being insulted. No women should have to put up with insults no matter how many jokes they are wrapped in.

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered

In one of your comments you said he's joking. Well, in this case, if you ask him to stop he should, right? Just talk to him about it. If it's really just "messing around" he shouldn't have a problem with putting an end to it. Just tell him you don't like it and you know he is joking, but it doesn't make you feel comfortable. Then, if it doesn't stop, you might want to put an end to the relationship.

Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

That's an easy remedy... You get him to stop by not enabling him. Tell him you won't stand to be treated like that .. And say goodbye if he doesn't care about you enough to change his ways.

PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

Why would you not want to break up with someone who has no respect for you? If you have told him you don't like what he is doing and continues to do so, you need to move on. The only way to get respect is to respect yourself and staying with someone who insults you and calls you names is not respecting yourself. 

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