TRUST — I was raised to trust my elders, my superiors and people who were obviously experienced in their field. They have all failed me. Today, I TRUST NO ONE. How could I change that?

There are very few people I truly trust, I can count them on less than one hand! Day to day people like the ones I work with, I consider friends I work with....do I trust them? This is how I deal with that dilemma.....If it came down to myself or them, would they lie to save themselves?....yep! They'd throw me right under the bus! So no I don't trust them! Trust should not be freely given, it's something that is earned.

Dear Siritas Thomas Simpson,

I like very much the answers you are receiving, and here is my own contribution: Since we all must bear the consequences of our mistakes, then we each have the right to MAKE our own mistakes - not dictated to us by others.

As you go along in life, you can learn to see more and more just where each person CAN be trusted, and where they will let you down. And you simply make your decisions based on that knowledge.

Im 55 going o. 70 i learn to only trust my cat

I am very sorry that you have to experience this and go through such a difficult time.

In fact, many communities or certain cultures across the world make this mistake. As a matter of fact, not every elder, or superior is trustworthy. The fact remains that we can not know everything. This includes every person regardless of their age or other similar status.

We all observe, experience, see, do, live, learn, speak, analyze and prefer differently. And our experience in the same road is not necessarily going to be the same either. So we can not fully rely or blindly listen and follow a path offered by an elder or someone who suggests to have more experience. We should receive the advises and carry it back of our mind to use them when related.

Don't push yourself. A bitter memory requires a certain amount of time to heal up. Time. Time is the key. In the meantime, observe your previous experiences, learn the lessons. Keep them in mind. Accept the past. What's done is done, move on. And deliver a better result in your life regarding what you have discovered. Also as a tip, remind yourself that you can not generalize everyone as one unit. You can still trust. Start with more caution attitude. Establish your trust step by step and gain your experience on the process. Slowly, you'll settle down.

Most people you come across act primarily according to their self interest---and that's a good thing.

Experience is certainly importance, but unless a person has gained accurate knowledge from his experiences, or has formally studied in order to obtain specific certified knowledge in a field, his or her judgment is only as good as his information.

And in any given situation, you also already have some information and gut feelings of your own.

Your own knowledge, experience, interests, feelings, preferences and insights are certainly valid in evaluating whether and what advice you are given makes the most sense.

Your own judgment is important in deciding how to proceed.  Just consider advice as input, not as something you must do.

You probably were not told as you were growing up that your judgment is as valuable as anyone else's as a factor in what you choose to do. You need to realize that it is.

By understanding that there is a process that one must experience before trust is gifted.  Sure, there is a level of superficial trust that we all exercise when dealing with day to day living and sharing space with other human beings...But, what I am talking about is personal choices.  Trust should not be handed out willy nilly to any demographic.  It must be accompanied by a high level of trust WORTHY ness.  You can't live this long and know that we live in a human community where 'trustworthyness' follows a discovery process.  You can not blindly assume trustworthyness..It is an educated guess in terms of choosing to trust someone on their own merrit supported by their personal actions ,, not thier gender, not thier age, nor their employment authority.

Someone told me to always trust, and to always cut the cards.  I grew up somewhat cynical because I discovered at an early age that people (my elders, my parents, community leaders) weren't all that reliable.  As a result, I usually hold my trust in abeyance until a person has proved that they can be trusted.  And I don't usually trust even them blindly, but also will be wary. 

Outside of business dealings I trust everybody until they rip me off. Nobody gets two chances. My thought is that if you treat everybody with suspicion, if you look for the worst, you're going to have a pretty miserable existence.

Have I ever been taken advantage of? Yep. Definitely. So I've learned where to draw the lines.

In business dealings with ANYBODY I assume that the other party will try to take advantage of me and that makes me wary, but not angry.

So, to answer the final part of your question, "How could I change that?" Simple. Use your brains and go with your experience. Of course, as one character quipped, experience is a hard teacher; she gives the exam first and the lessons later. :(